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There are days when I am great at being a mom. I’m great at letting my kids be who they are, for example. I’m great at sticking up for them when they need someone to have their back. I’m sort of okay with remembering to feed them dinner every night (I thank God for both my husband and boxed mac and cheese). And usually, I’m really good about the therapy-inducing kind of stuff — the stuff that might leave them emotionally scarred for decades because of something I did or didn’t do that caused them utter humiliation.
I really try to be on top of those things.
But this year was a little different. This year, I failed Halloween.
We know what it's like to work hard, fail sometimes, keep going, and garner success. But if you've ever had the really strange experience of reaching a goal and then thinking, "Wow, that wasn't as cool as I thought it would be," don't worry -- you're normal.
As a writer, most of my work is solitary. I have to be alone to think, and I have to be alone to write. In fact, I wake up earlier than anyone in my house so I can have the time to alone to do both of those things.
But lately, I've noticed that I keep creating things that involve community -- I want friends to write with, friends to work with, friends to do life with.
Whenever I'm scared, I know God's involved.
I know, I know. There's the whole "God does not give us a spirit of fear" thing. And I believe that. But that's not the kind of fear I'm talking about here. Because I think a certain kind of fear -- the fear that we can't do something on our own -- is exactly the kind of fear God wants us to have, because it helps us lean on the Holy Spirit more.
I'm talking about B-HAGs -- Big. Hairy. Audacious. Goals. The kind where, the first time God floats it in front of your brain, you're all, "Hell, no, I'm not doing that! That's insane!"
And then you go, "But that would be really cool...."
Coaching is an active process, which means that if you want to get results, it's up to you to do the bulk of the work. Your coach is just your guide -- consider her your own personal Yoda, if you will -- who is there to point out the road signs that can lead you to your goal. Coaching is also an investment -- of time, money and energy -- so before you make that investment, it's important to make sure you're actually ready.
Throw a stone these days, and you'll hit a coach. Or at least, you'll hit someone calling themselves a coach.
I understand the tendency -- for years before I was certified, I often felt like I already was a coach, what with all the advice I doled out to my friends and co-workers. But when I finally got my butt into a coaching certification program, I realized that coaching, like so many other things I didn't know about until I did, is a very specific skill.
I had no idea I was sitting next to a dream maker. After all, he looked just like any other father watching their kid at a sports practice.
We'd gotten friendly while sitting through our kid's martial arts classes and, once, while his wife and I clung to each other while our kids competed in their first jiu jitsu tournament. We'd never gotten around to finding out how we each made our living, until one day we did.
He is in publishing. I am a writer.